
If there’s one thing queer comedians know, it’s that our lives come with endless material. And with the current and constant borage of bad news and targeted executive orders, I know that being able to think outside the box, reclaim an empowered stance of resistance, and maintaining our communal resilience is more important than ever.
Whether it’s current events, everyday quirks of identity, hilarious misunderstandings, or the uniquely queer experiences that shape us, there’s always something to laugh about. Comedy, after all, has always been a way for marginalized people to reclaim power and assert identity on their own terms.
But where do you even start when the punchline is drawn from something as personal as identity? Here are some insights into how embracing queerness and individuality can help you write punchlines that don’t just land but resonate.
1. Start with Authenticity: Draw from Real Experiences
Queer comedy is at its funniest when it’s real. Start with the weird, funny, or even absurd moments in your life. Authenticity matters because audiences respond to vulnerability. It’s in the personal where we find the universal; sharing those true moments opens up a bridge between you and the audience, and it lets people into a world they may never experience otherwise.
For example, when I joke about the times I've had to explain my own anatomy to doctors, I’m tapping into something real. It’s an experience that’s unique to me but relatable enough for anyone who’s been in an awkward situation. Taking a real world experience and exploring what makes it unique and what makes it a common denominator gives you two distinct frames for jokes, and you can use either, or both.
2. Flip the Script on Stereotypes
Stereotypes about queer people? There are plenty—and they’re tired. But, flipping those stereotypes and showing the audience a fresh perspective? That's content.
Subverting expectations is a powerful comedic tool, especially when it involves taking a stereotype and adding a surprising twist that challenges the audience’s assumptions.
Take a stereotype about queer relationships being “too complicated." Instead of feeding into it, we can make fun of the trope itself. What in the trope is somewhat accurate? What about it isn't accurate? What outliers are there from that trope being accurate for everyone? If you hear tropes in other peoples' writing, how can you take your own spin on the trope itself, or how you relate to it?
When we show that the so-called “differences” are often exaggerated, or show their ridiculousness by over-exaggerating them further, it allows audiences to laugh with us rather than at us, breaking down those divisions with humor.
3. Celebrate the Weirdness of Identity
One of the best parts of being queer is that our lives are often a little quirky—and that’s a gift in comedy. Writing queer punchlines means celebrating the ways our lives deviate from the “norm.” Embrace those unusual perspectives, whether it’s the rainbow of dating apps that never seem to lead anywhere, or the adventure of finding queer community in the most unexpected places.
A common comedy "funny frame" is to describe what you hate about something. Queerness often flips this, even in speech, such as saying "I love that for you" when you distinctly do not love that for them.
Queer experiences might not align with heteronormative culture, and that’s exactly what makes them funny. Embrace the weirdness, celebrate the messiness instead of just hating on it or critiquing it, and watch how audiences respond to jokes that are fresh, funny, and distinctly queer.
4. Making a Statement
Comedy can be an incredible platform for addressing serious topics, from trans rights to queer liberation. Crafting jokes around these themes allows you to speak truth to power while keeping it light enough to draw people in. When we balance humor with important messages, it has the potential to stick with people long after the laughter fades.
For instance, my Here to Pee tour pokes fun at the absurdity of bathroom bills. On the surface, it’s potty humor, but underneath, it’s a statement about the ridiculousness of restricting bathroom access based on identity. Sometimes we explicitly say that, and sometimes we don't.
When people are laughing, they’re also more receptive to hearing the deeper message behind the joke, even if you don't spell it out. Which is why I always focus more on how to make something funnier and more easily received rather than more poignant. Finding meaning is actually quite easy, giving something the energy of buoyancy and humor is hard.
5. Remember: Queer Comedy Doesn’t Have to Explain Itself
Sometimes, the funniest queer jokes are the ones that don’t bother to explain every detail to a non-queer audience. Not every joke needs to be palatable to everyone—part of embracing identity in comedy writing is celebrating the nuances that make us unique. There’s power in delivering a punchline that’s for the queer folks in the audience, the ones who get it without an explanation. Those jokes can create a beautiful moment of solidarity and shared experience. But often, I will wait to use these jokes until 1. I've determined the audience is queer and/or 2. I already have the audience on my side; that way, if something doesn't land, I can rely on the rapport I've already gained in my recovery.
It’s the difference between saying “Let me explain my life to you” and “Hey, here’s my life, come along for the ride if you’re up for it.” Comedy that trusts the audience, especially in queer spaces, invites them to understand rather than demanding it. And sometimes, the best laughs come from an unfiltered, unapologetic punchline.
6. Punch Up, Not Down—Even with Your Own Identity
Comedy should always “punch up”—meaning that the joke should challenge power structures, not marginalize or reinforce negative stereotypes about vulnerable communities, including our own.
We have to be mindful when crafting queer punchlines that we’re lifting up the community rather than poking fun at it in a way that feels demeaning or alienating. That includes ourselves. While self-deprecating humor is common, it hits different for queer people.
Instead of making jokes that conform to or reinforce stereotypes, aim for humor that challenges misconceptions and shows the richness of the queer experience. It is more bold and surprising to show queer joy than it is to show queers self-hating in the way we constantly try to reinforce and have now come to expect from ourselves.
When we try to punch-up our jokes about ourselves, and by presenting with confidence even in the face of a tsunami of hate, we get to have the last laughs--as queer people and as entertainers.
This approach helps foster a positive message about LGBTQ+ identity, making the audience laugh without compromising integrity or dignity.
Let the Queer Punchlines Roll
Crafting queer punchlines is about more than jokes—it’s about creating space on stage for our lives, our stories, and our unique perspectives.
When we lean into the things that make us who we are, that’s when the magic of queer comedy truly comes to life. Our punchlines can bridge gaps, spark conversations, and change minds.
If you liked this post, follow me @RenQComedy for updates on the Here to Pee tour.
Comments